A Good Story

Beyond all else, it is most important to do interesting things to entertain folks with good stories.
 

Did you projectile vomit into a crowd of people on the arm of your four-year crush while you were shit-faced at a bar?  Well, that would be unfortunate; but in retrospect, your phone now automatically completes any word starting with a “v” to “vomited everywhere :-(” and it’s a funny story!

Is your life all in a shambles because you spent four years writing twenty-five page papers about Star Trek and rape fantasies…which turned out not to contribute much to a career in science?  Well, but look at you kiddo, aren’t you a spunky little fighter who’s following their dreams – and think of the story (when you succeed!)!

Was last night the most uncomfortable lesbian blind date of your life (especially considering you’re not a lesbian)?  Hmm, well yes it was awkward and you could have been killed for spending the night at that woman’s apartment, but at least you got The L Word and a good story!

Once you’ve adopted the “It’s all for a good story” life motto, nothing can ever be done incorrectly again – even the gross, sad, and utterly bewildering parts.  Especially the gross, sad, and bewildering parts.  And let’s be honest, it’s a lot easier to royally fuck something up than to do it right anyway.